Me to my son: don’t eeeeeever leave a bottle of milk in the van, especially if you didn’t finish it.
Son: but it was lumpy at the bottom
Me: I don’t … wait what?
(Looks at bottle … dated In April)
Me: cool cool. How’s … how’s your tummy?
— Brian Sweeney (@briswe) August 13, 2019
“Reader, I laughed.”
Hahaha, so did I. This conceit isn’t used nearly enough.
— Brian Sweeney (@briswe) May 23, 2019
Holy shit that was icing on the birthday cake. A man is happy.
— Brian Sweeney (@briswe) April 29, 2019
Today I learned that Vint Cerf’s license plate is “CERFS UP”
— Brian Sweeney (@briswe) February 17, 2019
I mean really, is that all you got? Because there’s always some bs justification from the other side.
— Brian Sweeney (@briswe) February 15, 2019